Culturegeeks

Shell found a new squid while drilling a mile and a half under water.  Squid my ass, an Alien obviously impregnated a giant squid, and we’re all well and truly fucked.

Including the woman who has 200 orgasms per day (that’d be cool for about two hours), the woman who’s allergic to water, the guy who can’t get fat (lucky bastard), and the 3 year old who never sleeps (kill me now).

link.

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…in Denver, no less. I think what I’m most surprised at is how exceedingly little thought the Creationists give to their spiel. You’d think that if they were giving tens or hundreds of these tours that at some point they would sit down and do the very math that they’re arguing. I mean, I knew they hated and feared science, but is math anti-god now?

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From the friendly alarmists at Wired Magazine comes this terrifying scenario:

If losing the ice caps makes us uncomfortable [because of rising water], the hydrogen sulfide is going to make us extinct. In 500 years, I can see a world where everyone will be wearing gas masks. Those that [have] them will live; those that don’t will die.

If choking to death on an atmosphere that has essentially turned into the biggest, smelliest fart of all time doesn’t get you on the global warming bandwagon, what will?

Forget what you learned in elementary school. The key to remembering the names of the planets now?

My Very Exciting Magic Carpet Just Sailed Under Nine Palace Elephants.

No I am not kidding. If you don’t know what all of those stand for (like me), you better check yo’self before you wreck yo’self:
Story

And yes, I WAS listening to old school hip-hop this morning. Why do you ask?

A slew of awesome Science Fair photos for you! (after the jump)

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I actually have this book! It’s really awesome, and I even used a bunch of these images to illustrate a zine I published many years ago.

1975: And the Changes to Come

How to Preserve Foods. A rack of canned beans is lowered into a radioactive container where, in six to twenty minutes, the beans will receive enough radiation to preserve them indefinitely. Atomic radiation of foods will be routine in the seventies. Meats, vegetables, and fruits will be preserved by the process. Radiated foods can be kept for years with little or no refrigeration.

Even back in 1953 they knew better than to play with radiation.

Bacon in a Toaster. Bacon would be prefried, then hermetically sealed in this design for a future aluminum package. One way to heat it for eating would be to drop it in the toaster; another, put in oven or broiler. A major advantage is the elimination of utensils for cooking. Package is opened by turning back the edges. Leftovers are easily preserved by refolding the pouch.

Our 2008 reality offers a poor substitute.

Translating Machine. Typist copies story from Russian newspaper Pravda on special machine which converts Russian letters to punched holes in paper tape. Insertion of the tape into another machine produces translation. By the 1970′s, automatic translation of practically all foreign publications and books will be routine.

Private detectives recommend you don’t use this method.

Also from 1962: The Sears Catalogue

Note to self: Science Awesome.

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Hilarious mock-educational film series from the U.K. Brilliant.

Part One: Maths

Also, check out the episodes on Water, Germs, and Music.

Ah, heck, how can I not also post the episode on Computers?

Part two   Part three

Magic words: Isabella Rossellini’s Bug Porn